People dint get married just to break up. They hope to spend the rest of their loves together but strains cause them to let go of the fight sometimes. When this happens, the divorce can either be contested or uncontested.
Uncontested divorces are quite easy as the two parties agree to part ways amicably. They agree on the distribution of assets and custody of children of they have any and that is it, basically. Contested or adversarial divorces, to the contrary, can be brutal. It gets worse if the couple cannot agree on child custody so that they necessitate child mediation.
Children suffer in silence as their parents part ways, and these are only few of the ways this strain manifests.
The Blame Game
Kids, for some reason, take the blame for divorces. Their innocent minds tell them that they probably cried and nagged too much or they just weren’t good enough. They go on and make it all about them and ifparents aren’t keen to correct this and assure them, it could affect the child’s self-esteem both at home and at school.
They Notice the Financial Difference
Not only will one parent be missing, but their income will be gone too. Kids will feel this absence when there is a change in lifestyle, which is why most parents are keen to keeps things as they were even after the divorce. Still, mealtime is never the same with one parent missing from the dinner table.
For Some, Relief
A Redditor admitted to feeling relieved when his mother left his dad. He was emotionally abusive and so his mother, who was Catholic and not keen on getting a divorce, cried herself to sleep every night. When she finally decided she had had enough and left, the Redditor and his siblings finally exhaled and lauded her for being so brave. Naturally, their support helped their super religious mother deal with the guilt of leaving her matrimonial home.
In the same breath, some older kids wonder why their parents take so long to divorce even when it is clear they are no longer in love. If a couple is miserable, it shows negatively and could affect the way the kids relate to the opposite sex when they are adults.
The Calm after the Storm
While kids have it hard seeing their parents apart, they derive joy from seeing them thrive alone. If one parent was withdrawn but now has the energy to talk for days and seems to be enjoying their new life, they are likely to be good companions for their kids.
Because the kids love both their parents, they hate it when one badmouths the other. A Redditor said her weekends with her dad were some of the worst because he spent the entire time talking negatively of her mother. Parents have the sole responsibility to protect their kids from bad influence, which includes them.
If a divorce is inevitable, parents have the responsibility of keeping their kids as safe from the outcome as possible.